"Take a Step Today" for Women:
SURVIVING ABUSE & BULLYING
(3-2023) by Carol Scheitlin
My heart goes out to all who have faced it, are currently dealing with it, or still feeling the effects of it even many years later. It’s real, it’s hurtful, it’s wrong. Abuse comes in many forms. And none of the types of abuse are right, good, or easy to endure.
This is Carol Scheitlin of New Life Expressions. Abuse, bullying, neglect, hurtful words, manipulative controlling behaviors, fits of rage, angry physical attacks, abuse in whatever form it takes is wrong, and should be addressed. Easier said than done.
The platitudes and cliches spoken to help, the well-meaning advice and heart-felt words from friends and family, are often heard, but not easily processed by the one abused. The reality of it all, living through it all, is much more challenging and difficult, if not seemingly impossible, to live out. But there is hope.
Abuse pervades the home, the school, the office. It’s found among all backgrounds, races, colors, genders, and it affects the wealthy, elite, the innocent and the poor. People of all ages - children, teens, adults, the elderly - suffer, or have suffered at the hands of an abuser. It’s all around, because it comes from imperfect and fallen people.
Abuse is sin. Abuse is against what God desires for His creation. The harmful abuse of an innocent child, a teen, or an elderly person goes against what the God of the Bible is all about. It’s never OK to abuse an innocent child, or to lay a hand in anger to hit a spouse, or to intentionally pierce someone’s innermost being with hurtful words.
I’m not a counselor and I don’t pretend to have all the answers. You may try to resolve it wisely and Biblically. You may need to speak about your specific situation to a pastor who cares, a professional Christian counselor, family members, or other trusted adults who love and care for you.
Certain cases, must be handled appropriately and immediately, by not being silent, but by telling someone, reporting to the police according to law, to seek a safe place, shelter, and to protect lives. There is support and help available. You’re not alone. Ask for support and help when needed.
My purpose here and now is simply to reach out, to show love, and to share the hope that many have found, and many are finding in these days. I pray you can take hold of some of these healing words that can make a positive difference on your journey and on your road to recovery.
Even if only one nugget of golden truth resonates in your heart, that one truth might make all the difference in your life. Real healing is possible.
I’m asking you today to consider how God’s words of truth from the Bible may apply to your specific situation.
If you are not a believer in God, I’m glad you clicked in to read or hear this. I ask you to continue reading to the end, and just be open to hope, open to healing.
You may have tried many other routes for healing which just haven’t really helped. You may still be feeling the hurts and bondage, the overwhelm, the fear, without knowing the true freedom and release that is available to you.
BELIEVING THE TRUTH:
There is a Creator, Who loves and cares about each detail of your life. He cares about all the visible, and all the hidden things of your life.
The God of the Bible, is the One Who made you, formed you in the womb, created your DNA, your cells, your heart, your spirit, your soul, your body, your mind. No man and no fluke of nature can ever duplicate or create spirit, soul, body, brain, with all the intricate functions and detail, in such an intelligently designed way. Even the best of scientists still cannot figure it all out.
You are intricately woven, carefully and intentionally designed by an awesome Creator, God.
You are no accident. Your life is valuable. And a great price was paid to save you, paid by Jesus on your behalf, because of His perfect love for you.
God may seem invisible to you right now, but He is always working -- and He is always invincible!
Whose words are you believing? God’s Words can powerfully help and heal wounds.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
“But Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
The unkind words that abusers have spoken, written, texted, or emailed are often replayed for years in the broken hearts and minds of the one abused. Words can hurt. But hope, rest, and comfort can be found in the TRUTH of GOD’s Word.
IT’S TRUE… GOD SEES ALL THINGS:
The Creator of all galaxies, planets, angels and beings, the God Who has established and sees all things, at all times, is the God of the Bible. He sees the wrongs that others have done.
God knows every word, every thought and every action of every person because He’s God. Nothing is hidden from Him.
“And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:13)
“Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” (Psalm 139:4)
“The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds.” (Psalm 33:13-15)
“The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.” (Proverbs 15:3)
OUR NEED FOR A SAVIOR:
There is evil in the world, BUT THERE IS A PERFECT AND HOLY GOD Who sees it all, and is in control.
We can’t fully understand why God does things the way He does, why He allows certain things to happen. The truth is that HE is God, and we are not – we are not omniscient, all-knowing, omni-present, or all-powerful. He is.
Who among us is perfect and can walk righteously and holy and pure all of the time? Even if we’ve done only 1 wrong thing in a whole year (and all us do more), that makes us imperfect and with sin. That’s why we all need Jesus - our perfect and righteous Redeemer Who paid the price for our sins.
We may never have all the answers, but we can trust in the One Who does! We can trust God's sovereignty in all things. And we can trust Him to give us victory - over bondages and sin.
FOUR HEALTHY CHOICES YOU CAN MAKE:
- You can pray:
Your pain is real, and it can be brought to God today. Tell God what you are concerned about, what you feel, and how you are struggling.
You have a perfect, loving and Heavenly Father Who cares, and will hear your heart when you pour all your concerns out to Him.
The Bible says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
Pray also for those who have written or spoken bad things to you, or about you. Each situation is different and might be handled in different wise ways. In every situation, you can pray to God about those who hurt you, and ask God to help you.
- You can opt out of revenge:
Revenge is not the answer.
God can handle the injustice and handle the hurt on your behalf. He can correct those who are hurtful, and even draw them to seek Him, so they can turn their heart to Him, and change their ways.
“See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
Choose the higher road. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Allow God to also surround you with those in your life who will help you, protect you, love you, and walk with you in the process.
- You can choose the better over the bitter:
You may say, “But, I hate them for what they did to me”, “They’ve ruined my life”.
It can be easy for us to hate and resent those who have hurt us, to not want them to be happy, and to even want them to suffer, as we have suffered because of their actions. But that’s not right, and it’s not what is best for you, or anyone.
You don’t want a root of bitterness and anger against people to grow so big within you that it consumes your thoughts, and effects even your physical well-being.
Bitterness can wreak havoc on the human body, and it does nothing to help you or the situation.
Instead, you can choose to make HEALTHY, good and pure choices for your life. Start today, and renew your commitment to take some important and healthy steps in the right direction.
Ask God to remove any bitterness that you may have. And trust God to do what only He can do.
- You can connect & care:
Healthy connections are also important. Stay connected with those who love and support you, those who are caring and refreshing – those you enjoy sharing life with.
You can get involved with a strong and caring church group, that teaches the Bible and can provide a safe and encouraging environment with activities and events to help you grow in faith.
You can also reach out to help others! God can use your experiences to help others who may be hurting or in need:
- What do you like doing? What are your gifts? Think of ways you can use your gifts to encourage someone.
- There may be opportunities for you to reach out to others, to get involved with some community outreaches, volunteer your services.
- You and some friends might want to assist someone who is handicapped, poor, infirmed, or in need.
- Find ways to be a blessing to others.
Your kindness can make a real positive difference in someone else’s life!
GOD OFFERS HEALING FOR YOUR HEART:
These verses are great to remember during tough times, and even commit to memory, write down, or carry with you:
- “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
- “The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” (Psalm 9:9)
- Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound". (Isaiah 61:1)
- “Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
There are many words in the Bible that will encourage. You can start by reading the book of John in the Bible to find out more about the life of Jesus, His great love, and His power to help and save.
God will show you the path to victory through His powerful Word!
IDENTIFYING WITH THE PSALMS:
Many of us can identify with the writings in the Psalms of the Bible. The Psalms are filled with words from those who have felt:
Wounded
Ashamed
Fearful
Feeling broken
Feeling alone
Feeling weak and helpless
Crying out for strength
Desiring to have hope instead of despair
Wanting to be released from bondage and pain
Wanting justice
Wanting freedom from a situation
We can feel overwhelmed, trying to deal with despair, feeling hopeless, feeling lonely, feeling weak, as those in the Bible did. We can also learn how to use FAITH over FEAR as they did.
HOW ONE PERSON HANDLED TOUGH SITUATIONS:
David, in the Bible, felt the sad effects of sin. He knew hurt and pain. David is an example for us of how we can find courage and be strengthened in faith - by God’s power.
Here’s how David handled various times of hurt and hardship in his life (many written about in the Psalms):
He prayed.
He poured out his feelings and fears before the Lord.
He asked God for speedy deliverance.
He looked to God to be His strength.
He recognized that God is GOD – where His Answer is found, and knew God could come to His rescue.
He trusted God’s sovereignty to do all that seemed impossible and unattainable.
He gave His own brokenness into the Hands of the only Savior.
He pleaded his cause before the only King of all kings, the One true God capable of bringing justice.
He gave his burdens, wounds, and cares to God.
And you can too!
Here are some things that the Psalms can teach us about God’s character and His power to help us, whenever we are experiencing a trial:
God hears you. He knows. He sees.
God is your “Rock of refuge”.
The Lord is your fortress.
God can lead and guide you.
God can ‘pull you out of the net’ that was laid for you.
He can be your strength.
He can show mercy.
He can show His love to you, and show you His power.
He can hide you in the secret place of His presence.
God can vindicate and bring justice.
God can save you!
God can give you hope now, and hope for your future!
God can do miraculous things in your life. Don’t give up. God is a great deliverer, especially when things look impossible!
JESUS WAS FAMILIAR WITH PAIN & REJECTION:
History records it, and the world knows of Jesus.
Jesus was despised,
and rejected by men,
betrayed by friends,
taunted and slandered.
He was beaten and bruised.
He was mocked.
He was spat upon.
He was wounded.
People plotted to kill him.
He was perfect and innocent, yet they nailed Him to the cross. He suffered an incredibly painful death.
You can read the full accounts and details of His crucifixion and resurrection in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Isaiah chapter 53 also gives details about the crucifixion, and work of Messiah.
Here are some of the details about the mocking and reviling that Jesus experienced (recorded in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 27, verses 27–44):
- 27 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole garrison around Him. 28 And they stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him. 29 When they had twisted a crown of thorns, they put it on His head, and a reed in His right hand. And they bowed the knee before Him and mocked Him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” 30 Then they spat on Him, and took the reed and struck Him on the head. 31 And when they had mocked Him, they took the robe off Him, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him away to be crucified.
- 32 Now as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. Him they compelled to bear His cross. 33 And when they had come to a place called Golgotha, that is to say, Place of a Skull, 34 they gave Him sour wine mingled with gall to drink. But when He had tasted it, He would not drink.
- 35 Then they crucified Him, and divided His garments, casting lots, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet:
“They divided My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots.”
- 36 Sitting down, they kept watch over Him there. 37 And they put up over His head the accusation written against Him: THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
- 38 Then two robbers were crucified with Him, one on the right and another on the left. 39 And those who passed by blasphemed Him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who destroy the temple and build it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross.”
- 41 Likewise the chief priests also, mocking with the scribes and elders, said, 42 “He saved others; Himself He cannot save. If He is the King of Israel, let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe 43 He trusted in God; let Him deliver Him now if He will have Him; for He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’
- 44 Even the robbers who were crucified with Him reviled Him with the same thing.”
Yet, hanging on the cross, dying, mocked, having been spat upon, and beaten, Jesus prayed to God the Father saying “Forgive them…” The love of God was so strong. Rather than being consumed by His own pain, He thought of the needs of others. They were sinners in need of a Savior.
Jesus died for all of us (since all of us have fallen short of perfection). He paid the penalty for all of our sins.
And He rose from the dead. God was victorious, and miraculously gave victory over death! Over 500 witnesses saw the resurrected Jesus. It’s recorded history. It’s absolutely the TRUTH --- He is alive, now and forever!
But the world still mocks Him, rejects Him, and taunts Him, and persecutes those who believe in Him. They don’t realize that they need Jesus too.
Yet, Jesus is alive today, and His love remains strong.
The Bible says “ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
God is real. His love is real. His love is perfect and everlasting.
God's love can lift you up, carry you, and see you through your circumstances.
And through His atoning work on the cross, He can give you victory and save you.
FORGIVENESS IS POSSIBLE:
It may be difficult for you to forgive others, and it may take time, but it is possible for you to forgive the ones who have wronged you. Forgiveness is freeing. It’s a work that we can’t do on our own. But God can do it for us, in us, and through us, when we ask Him for help to forgive those who have wronged us.
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“Because he has set his love upon Me, Psalm 91: 14-16
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May God show His grace to you, show you His great love, and give you the healing and strength needed, as you call on Him.
Tune in next time to “Take a Step Today” for Women, for a message entitled “Beloved, Redeemed & A Child of God”.
Do you want to know about being saved and set free? If you want to understand more about God’s GIFT of salvation found in the Bible, check out “The Gift of Salvation” on this website. Click here for the link.
Carol Scheitlin is director of New Life Expressions, writer, and author of "LET THE HOUSE OF AARON SAY", Book #1 of The Series of Seven Collection, a unique series of practical and prophetic resources to enrich your life and help you understand your high calling in life now, your purpose, and your final eternal destiny. “Let the House of Aaron Say” (Paperback and E-Book, currently available on Amazon).
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